I'm Sorry For The Way Things Are In China

I Don't Really Understand Either

Mae: What year were you born?

Me: 1977

Mae: No, what year?

Me: 1977

Mae: I mean, like, two thousand and what?

Me: No, I was born before 2000.

Mae (visibly anguished): I don't understand what you're saying!!!

And so on. We finally just agreed to drop it.

Straight and Narrow

I saw Milk last night. It sucked. If you need to purge yourself of some straight guilt, and you wanna feel "down with the gays" in the most sanitized way possible, fine. Go see it.

If you actually want to learn about, appreciate, and be moved by the contributions of Harvey Milk, please watch this instead.

I Think This Happens To Me On My Couch, Too.

A Tactic to Cut ICU Trauma: Get Patients Up

Sexy Bitch

Shawn Goldsmith, a Long Island teen who earned every merit badge offered by the boy scouts, a feat described as 'almost unheard-of' by scout officials.

He was awarded his 121st Boy Scout of America merit badge on December 19, 2008

Sexy Bitch

Sara Barron

If You Need Me, I'll Be In The Bathroom Plucking Myself Bloody

How much do I love getting my haircut? A whole damn lot.

That is, until my most recent trip. I was all settled in, ready to enjoy my shampooing--which gives me an unseemly thrill, to be honest--when Lindsey, the stylist said,

"Are we doing a wax today?"

I don't think she meant my eyebrows.

For Brian

Beer Cap Memory

Liam's Wrestling Debut

Hilarious preview of both Liam's future wrestling career and my transformation into the kind of mother who trips his opponents and punches the refs.



(Liam keeps looking over at his coach. You hear the coach in the background, too. He's the one screaming, "Give him the half! Give him the half!" Half nelson, for all the non-wrestling fans out there. Right at the end of the video, Liam starts to "give him the half," just before the period is over.)

I Try To Be Empathetic, Really I Do

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Oh, For Pete's Sake

The Dangers of Third-Hand Smoke

Sexy Bitch

Tom Colicchio

Confidential to Jason

My friend, it's time to take your game to the next level.